Finding the Hope

 Today, I'm honored to introduce you to Sarah from Your Thriving Family!  She will be sharing her story of God's grace through miscarriage. 

Where to begin . . . there is so much involved in this story.  I am grateful that from the onset I was not bitter.  I truly believe God protected me from this, but I also think this was a result of a lifetime of preparation for loss.

While of course I wish things had been different, my faith has increased.  I believe my walk with God has greatly transformed.  I did a lot of healing through crying and praying in the tub and writing till the early morning.­

Explaining to our not yet five-year-old was probably the hardest part of it all.  Being truthful with her, yet protecting her innocence and her future relationship with a loving and merciful God.  He has allowed me to use my pain and sorrow to help others.

In the months after I was physically healed I sought out publishing a book about our family’s journey together through this.  Quickly I found we were not in a financial place to do this.  Six months later, on a night my husband was out working I launched into splitting up what I had written so far into blog posts.  At least this could get it out there somehow.

My husband asked me why I would want to share it.  This was mine – for me and God alone.  My thoughts.  My experience.  My walk.  But it wasn’t.  Miscarriage is one of those ultimately sad, but rarely talked about subjects.  With the internet this is changing, but blunt, Godly honesty is still hard to find.

Facebook is full of fan pages of women sharing their grief, their disappointment of trying to conceive again and getting another “not pregnant” reading.  These feed our dwelling in sorrow, our introspection and self-focus.  I am not saying we should not have these moments – but that is all they should be – moments.  Not our life story.

I choose HOPE.  I choose to be at PEACE.  I choose to share and love, to help and grow.  I choose to continue stepping forward.

  These things have I spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.
In the world ye shall have tribulation:
But be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
   ~  John 16:33

Our missing child will always be a part of my story, of our marriage’s journey.  And the shaping of our children.  It is one of the many large life events that has molded me into who I am.

We are expecting our next blessing in the coming month.  I think constantly of our Hope.  I think some who have not lost children think this makes up for it.  It doesn’t.  There is a hole.  There will always be a hole, but it makes me cling dearer and hold closer to those here with us.

This next baby, who we chose to not find out the sex of, is all the more special.  Almost as if it is a bonus.  An extra blessing that we are not deserving of.  A true gift!

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I would love to eat all organic, be eco-crazy, and an exercise fiend - but for now I am trying to find a balance in the world we live in. I am a full-time mama, wife, homemaker, doula, Theatre Tech and adjunct.  And Blogger who writes about family, food, marriage, kids, miscarriage, pregnancy and God.  Pushing our family to THRIVE not just strive to survive!

**To read more of this series, "God's Grace Through Miscarriage", please click here. **

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