What can you do to help someone through miscarriage? How can you know if you've never been through it yourself? Here are few tips to help you help your friends and family through this very difficult situation.
First, you need to understand that the momma who has just miscarried is going through the emotions of losing a baby AND her body is reacting to that miscarriage as if she just delivered a full term baby. She may have mood swings, hot flashes, head aches and all the other symptoms that follow any delivery including post pardom depression. She's already going through a lot physically. Add to that the fact that she'll never get to hold the baby she loved and wanted. She'll never get to see his smile, or hear him call her "momma". That's not something you can just get over in a day or so and decide your ready to "try again".
Second, don't say anything that would cause her to think you want her to just get over it. The worst thing you can do is to say something like, "maybe you were mistaken", "it's for the best", or "you're young; you can always have more". If you don't know what to say, just tell her you love her and you're praying for her.
 |
| photo credit |
Better still, in my opinion, don't say anything. Send her a message. Get a group of ladies together to take dinner to her and her family for a few nights until she can get herself together. Send her a card or flowers - anything to let her know that you care and you're praying for her. Anything that she might be able to keep as a physical memory. And yes! She will want to remember her baby. Don't try to help her "forget it all". {My husband gave me roses with my first miscarriage and I dried them and kept them for almost 10 years now. I still have some of the buds.}
I have so many things I could say. But I think I'm going to link to a post written by Donielle at Naturally Knocked Up. If you're wanting to help someone who is suffering from Miscarriage this would be a great post for you to read!
**To read more of this series, "God's Grace Through Miscarriage", please click here. **
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are so glad to have you join us here at Hidden Treasures! We hope to be a blessing to as many ladies as possible! You can connect with us on Facebook or Twitter, or you can chose to have our post sent directly to your E-mail or RSS feed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One idea that I came up with is to give the couple a Christmas ornament that commemorates their little one. I picked one out for my own little one that is a cross with the year on it - it's nothing amazing and no one will know that it's for a lost baby but it's a simple memory that will be very precious for years to come as an honor to that special person that is still part of their family.
ReplyDeleteGreat Idea, Ann! Love it!!
ReplyDelete