Funny Epitaphs

Yeah, you read it right, and no, I haven't gone crazy...at least not all the way.

You see, my husband - I can always find a way to blame him - preached a sermon on "What is Your Life?".  It was very good.  He was talking about the 3 things you find on every tomb stone (besides the name of the deceased).  One was the date of birth...we can't do anything about that day.  We can't change the day we were born.  The second is the day of our death.  We can't do anything about that day either.  We will die when it's time and only God knows that time for us.  The third is the dash between the birth date and the day of our death.  Our life is represented by a single dash on our tombstone.  The main idea behind the sermon was, "what are you doing with your life?"  It was a very good sermon.

Anyway, he downloaded some epitaphs that are pretty funny and I thought I'd share just a few:

Mary Weary, Housewife

Dere Friends I am going

Where washing ain't done

Or cooking or sewing:

Don't mourn for me now

Or weep for me never.

For I go to do nothing

Forever and ever!

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Ann Mann

Here Lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

But died an old Mann.

December 8, 1767

London, England

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Beneath this silent stone is laid

A noisy, antiquated maid,

Who from her cradle talked to death,

And never before was out of breath.

Here lies, returned to clay

Miss. Arabella Young,

Who on the eleventh day of May

Began to hold her tongue.

1794 -1863

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She lived with her husband for 50 years

And died in the confident hope of a better life

Burlington, VT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Grieve not for me my husband dear.

I am not dead but sleeping here.

With patience wait - perforce to die

And in a short time you'll come to I.

The husband added:

I am not grieved, my dearest life.

Sleep on, I've got another wife.

Therefore, I cannot come to thee

For I must go and live with she.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They abounded in riches

But she wore the britches...

Essex, England

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here lies the body of 

Jonathan Blake.

Stepped on the gas

Instead of the brake.

Uniontown, PA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See, I told you I was SICK!

Littleton, CO

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here lies an Atheist

All dressed up and no place to go.

Thurmont, MD

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Here is my daughter standing beside a tombstone in Boothill cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona.

It says, Hanged by mistake, 1882, He was right, we was wrong, but we strung him up and now he's gone.

These are true and found on real grave stones.  I typed them out exactly as they are.  I thought these were some of the funniest ones.